Having taken a rather predictable two month 'the full on gangsterization' of the world has gained too much momentum and we're all fucked how can I leave the country while ensuring security for my wife and future children break, we're back and more powerful than ever.
A lot has happened in the Arsenal/Premier League Universe since November. For one thing, we've played like 9 million games. First, we drew with Man U, we were awful for all but 8 seconds when the Ox got past Rashford and swung in a nice cross for Giroud to head in. A few days later we drew with PSG having been outplayed, and let in two goals which made us likely to finish second in the group. That, of course, ultimately didn't happen and we celebrated and thought 'things are sort of going our way, there's something different about the boys this season' but we were drawn against Munich in the second round for the millionth time in four years and will probably go out on away goals after an heroic and epic second leg.
We beat Bournemouth 3-1 at home, pretty standard win where I think some guy on their team dived for a penalty. Some foreigner I'm sure. Then we went out of the hilariously named EFL Cup to Southampton with a sort of B team. Kind of a shame, I like the league Cup, I like watching the youngsters play and don't mind the idea of a trophy, no matter how fourth choice it is. Afterwards, we smashed West Ham 5-1, Alexis scored a great hatrick, his best goal was a tad offsides but it was so good nobody complained. Then we gave Basil a hiding, Lucas Perez getting a hatrick this time.
Which brings us to that dark period in mid December where we lost to Everton and Man City within a week having been a goal up in both games. We've seen it before this season, drawing games we should've been winning, not stacking points early on, not taking advantage of the fact that 3 of our biggest rivals have new managers. I had a feeling that Chelsea and Man U would get stronger as the season goes on and they have. Chelsea, jesus christ. We should've beaten Everton, we're a much better football team. And City were awful in the first half of that game and we should've been better, pushed on from that early goal. But, we didn't and here we are, in what looks like a scrap for fourth.
After those games we beat West Brom with a late Giroud goal, something of a habit now, and we beat Palace with a couple of funny goals, one from Giroud again, the other from Iwobi. Then we came from 3 goals behind to draw 3-3 with Bournemouth, a ludicrous game for a lot of reasons. They were good but not that good. That penalty that Xhaka gave away can't be mitigated against, he's a professional, you'd expect him not to make that challenge. And the third goal was a clear foul on Bellerin. We really ought to have been just the one goal down but we are the Arsenal and we will always find a way to make it harder on ourselves. A good comeback in the end, but ultimately 2 points dropped.
Finally, we played Preston in the 3rd round of the FA Cup a couple days ago. We were dismal in the first half and could've been down by more than the one goal they scored. But we came out and pressed them under a lot of probing possession with Iwobi playing well between the lines. There were some poor performances, one really bad first half performance by Maitlan-Niles, which puts Jenkinson's future at the club into sharp focus. I'd say that's it for Jenko. Anyway, Rambo fired us back in and Giroud got another late goal to put us through to the next round.
That's the short version of what happened on the pitch. Off it, we have some injuries and absences that make Wilshere's loan look like a bad decision by the club. We have Ozil and Alexis contract shit. Welbeck is back. Santi is out longer than expected. Kroenke was caught butchering chickens and screwing a beagle in Illinois. And we have a game against Swansea in the league in a week. Kroenke wasn't really caught butchering chickens and screwing a beagle...in Illinois. Or at all. None of that statement is fact, just a reference to an old movie I like and a dead actor I miss. And it's funny. And we don't like Stan Kroenke. And there'll be more to come in the week.
RPJr
A lot has happened in the Arsenal/Premier League Universe since November. For one thing, we've played like 9 million games. First, we drew with Man U, we were awful for all but 8 seconds when the Ox got past Rashford and swung in a nice cross for Giroud to head in. A few days later we drew with PSG having been outplayed, and let in two goals which made us likely to finish second in the group. That, of course, ultimately didn't happen and we celebrated and thought 'things are sort of going our way, there's something different about the boys this season' but we were drawn against Munich in the second round for the millionth time in four years and will probably go out on away goals after an heroic and epic second leg.
We beat Bournemouth 3-1 at home, pretty standard win where I think some guy on their team dived for a penalty. Some foreigner I'm sure. Then we went out of the hilariously named EFL Cup to Southampton with a sort of B team. Kind of a shame, I like the league Cup, I like watching the youngsters play and don't mind the idea of a trophy, no matter how fourth choice it is. Afterwards, we smashed West Ham 5-1, Alexis scored a great hatrick, his best goal was a tad offsides but it was so good nobody complained. Then we gave Basil a hiding, Lucas Perez getting a hatrick this time.
Which brings us to that dark period in mid December where we lost to Everton and Man City within a week having been a goal up in both games. We've seen it before this season, drawing games we should've been winning, not stacking points early on, not taking advantage of the fact that 3 of our biggest rivals have new managers. I had a feeling that Chelsea and Man U would get stronger as the season goes on and they have. Chelsea, jesus christ. We should've beaten Everton, we're a much better football team. And City were awful in the first half of that game and we should've been better, pushed on from that early goal. But, we didn't and here we are, in what looks like a scrap for fourth.
After those games we beat West Brom with a late Giroud goal, something of a habit now, and we beat Palace with a couple of funny goals, one from Giroud again, the other from Iwobi. Then we came from 3 goals behind to draw 3-3 with Bournemouth, a ludicrous game for a lot of reasons. They were good but not that good. That penalty that Xhaka gave away can't be mitigated against, he's a professional, you'd expect him not to make that challenge. And the third goal was a clear foul on Bellerin. We really ought to have been just the one goal down but we are the Arsenal and we will always find a way to make it harder on ourselves. A good comeback in the end, but ultimately 2 points dropped.
Finally, we played Preston in the 3rd round of the FA Cup a couple days ago. We were dismal in the first half and could've been down by more than the one goal they scored. But we came out and pressed them under a lot of probing possession with Iwobi playing well between the lines. There were some poor performances, one really bad first half performance by Maitlan-Niles, which puts Jenkinson's future at the club into sharp focus. I'd say that's it for Jenko. Anyway, Rambo fired us back in and Giroud got another late goal to put us through to the next round.
That's the short version of what happened on the pitch. Off it, we have some injuries and absences that make Wilshere's loan look like a bad decision by the club. We have Ozil and Alexis contract shit. Welbeck is back. Santi is out longer than expected. Kroenke was caught butchering chickens and screwing a beagle in Illinois. And we have a game against Swansea in the league in a week. Kroenke wasn't really caught butchering chickens and screwing a beagle...in Illinois. Or at all. None of that statement is fact, just a reference to an old movie I like and a dead actor I miss. And it's funny. And we don't like Stan Kroenke. And there'll be more to come in the week.
RPJr
