Bus Mechanics

Have you ever been lost in a strange part of town.  It's sort of industrial, sort of warehouse-y and pretty run down; it's fascinating, engrossing, dozens of small factories and text tile mills, suddenly you feel like you're in the know, privy to the goings on most people never get to see, one step closer to the man behind the man and your feelings are vindicated when you turn a corner and come upon a massive parking lot full of buses.  Hundreds of buses, some coming, some going, some getting maintenance, some have been there a long time, some will never leave.  This is what Old Trafford is gonna look like for 90 minutes after lunch on Saturday.

We're missing Bellerin and Alexis will be knackered after the internationals.  They're missing a bunch of players, most of their defense plus Fellaini and Ibra.  We forget how good Luke Shaw can be but I imagine he's rusty and Theo might fancy his chances.  Alexis, if fit, should fancy himself against Rojo and Jones, and at right back they'll have Darmian, who lets be frank, is shit.  For some odd reason United fans think that we're "there for the taking", a sentiment we'll hope is shared by the team.  We really should win this game on paper, but it is United and it has been a strange season so far so I won't speculate any further.

Now that the boring, currupt internationals are done we can get back to the exciting, not as currupt league.  We need to get back to winning and keep pace with the top of the table so we don't fall away early.  I still feel that the league is there to be won this season and we need to stack points before other teams get used to their new managers and systems and become very strong.  I can see Liverpool dropping points to Southampton but the other big teams have very winnable fixtures.

As for us tomorrow, all I'll say is that humanity needs Wenger the Jedi to beat Mourinho, the Trump of football, to bring some balance to the world.

Come on you people, Come on you world, Come on you Gunners

There's Not Much To Say

Despite the litany of unsavory American instances in my lifetime I have never been so ashamed of this country. Shame on us all.

Pochetino isn't TE Lawrence and Spurs aren't the Arab Revolt

I can't help but be annoyed about this game, even days afterwards.  A new formation from the opposition seems like a flimsy excuse for our poor opening.  It's not as if they traveled 100s of miles across an unfathomably dry desert to surprise us from the east while we were all looking west.  I understand the need to adapt your game to find new spaces but these are experienced, international footballers who have surely been surprised by an unexpected formation before and must be adept enough to see that with the middle jammed up and Alexis and Ozil tracked man for man, we needed to make space on the outside. That being said, the narrative emerging in the wake of this game: Spurs dominate opening period and Arsenal being flat and out of ideas, is a bit ridiculous.

We adapted slowly to a new set of circumstances, but by no means were they dominant.  We really, mainly canceled each other out, the Kane header and the Son run past Mustafi being the exceptions.  Although, we did have a couple of dangerous moments ourselves.  Operating between the lines, in small pockets of space between defenders, means that we're often a pass or run away from a clear chance, which to me is as good as a shot saved or flying just past the post, and I feel that this was the case several times in the first 25 minutes.  This fact is easily lost in the stats and so we're never credited, although you can see why, the headline: SECOND TO LAST PASS MISSING FOR GUNNERS IN CLOSE OPENING PERIOD isn't very sexy.

Iwobi missed the chance to play in Alexis, putting Theo on a horse on the overlap instead and then not long after fluffed a terrific chance after incisive play by Alexis and Ozil.  He really, really should have scored.  At 20 and in a monster match, he has every excuse and I still think he'll be an important player for us, but watching him Cruyff turn inside more experienced opposition and pluck balls out of the air with masterful control made his miss so frustrating, so much evidence showing he is capable of putting that shot away instead of straight at Lloris.

After that, we crushed them.  We were dynamic and our movement off the ball was impossible for them to keep up with.  Had Wanyama been booked for clobbering Theo on the back of the head like he should have been, he wouldn't've been able to foul his way through the rest of the game, a sign that they just couldn't keep up with us.  Theo smacked the post from 25 yards when maybe he could've run past the defender to get in one v one instead and Ozil couldn't control the follow up with his right foot.  Ozil and Alexis both had chances to make better chances.  We scored towards the end of the half, something to give us momentum moving into the second and what a goal it was.  I absolutely LOVE a Spurs own goal, it's one of my great hateful pleasures.  This nonsense about players behind him being offside is absurd, I don't even want to talk about it.  The goal correctly stood and it came not long after Vertongen tried to rip off Xhaka's shirt in the box, far more of a penalty than the one they were later awarded.  Incidentally, I thought Xhaka was very good.  We probably should've carved out another couple of good chances in the first half and maybe pinched another, but we looked satisfied with a half time lead that was most definitely deserved.

In the second half, the game was pretty even keeled with each team being a bit stifled by the other, both midfields being frustrated.  This birthed a run by Dembele, where he was allowed to carry the ball a bit too far, but eventually was surrounded by defenders.  Going nowhere, he turned his back to Koscielny and went over a moment before he was going to lose the ball to one of the other 3 defenders on the scene.  Clattenberg pointed to the spot immediately, which in real time was an absolute shock.  Having watched the replays several times and listened to Howard Webb's load of shit about it being the right decision, I'm still incensed.  No way in a million years was that a penalty, it was tactical fabrication by Dembele and the fact that the story is that we were lucky to be awarded our goal and they were well rewarded their penalty is so fucking annoyingly anti-Arsenal it does my head in.

I honestly don't understand the pro Spurs movement in the popular press.  Yes, they have some young exciting players.  Yes, they have a young, new breed manager.  And yes, we have a stubborn old economic philosopher and have done for 20 years, and yes, we're often a player or two away from mounting a proper challenge, but these facts should by no means paper over the fact that Tottenham cheated their way into stadium rebuilding rights, sack manager after manager and have SPENT FAR MORE MONEY than we have in the past decade. Still we finish above them every season.  How it is that they're lauded as the little, good guys I have no idea.

My hatred for Tottenham and my disdain for the dumb, illogical narrative to the Spurs - Arsenal story aside, drawing this game is a problem for me.  I understand that we can't win every game and I understand that we're still in a very good league position, there is cause for optimism. But these are the games that title winning sides win.  There were periods and phases of play where we should've done a lot better and been much more incisive.  The Ox, particularly guilty of spurning opportunities to get at them and get in their box.  That boy needs to get his shit together, he's a monster talent and if he can't get out of his head his career won't be what it should.  Title winning teams step up in those instances, they don't send easy crosses into the stands, they don't defend free kicks so badly that they elude everyone and hit the post, they see that Wanyama is grabbing, clobbering and kicking every player he gets near so they send Sanchez and Ozil into his space to tease him and get him booked.  They stand up, they play smart, they play collected, they win these games.

Early days of course, plenty of games to play and we're only a couple points off the top, but I think we need to raise our standards to win the league.  God I hate Tottenham.

Trophic Cascade

In 1995 they decided to re-introduce Wolves after a 70 year absence to the Yellowstone national forest.  The poor guys, who were once quite close to humans, had been hunted away to protect livestock and their population was reduced significantly. The last grey wolves in Yellowstone were killed in 1926.  With no natural predator beyond the inbred hunters tasked with population control, the deer had essentially grazed the land to death, dead trees, bare meadows and hillsides, dry river beds, before 1995 Yellowstone looked like the back of the fridge. Enter 14 grey wolves.  They were captured in Canada and transported to Wyoming where they were first allotted an acre pen.  They were then introduced to each other and formed new packs and families and slowly deer population growth began to slow down, then stop and eventually plateau.  With less deer, the grass was allowed to grow and up popped wild flowers and in came the bees and the mice and the voles and the chip monks, which attracted the foxes and the weasels and the Badgers.  Trees came back to life and grew taller than ever before and in came the birds and the berries.  Bears ate the berries and badgers and the chip monks and their population grew.  And with song birds and thriving trees in came the Beavers and they built damns which gave a home to 1000s of animals and insects and more importantly changed the flow of water in the river and the fish population increased, feeding yet more animals.  With a thriving river full of fish, growing trees full of birds and berries, expansive meadows full of grass and flowers and a natural order in the animal population Yellowstone became the stunning sight that it is today and it all started with 14 wolves.  This effect is known as a Trophic Cascade.  

We've had a few Trophic cascade catalysts over the years at the Arsenal.  The first modern example being Dennis Bergkamp.  Then Veiera, Henry, Sol Campbell, Jens Lehman and the mother of all Trophic cascade induction: Arsene Wenger himself.  Not only has he transformed Arsenal, so easily forgotten during our trophy drought and even now, but he transformed football more than anybody in the sport today.  

There's no denying that we're not quite what we used to be.  An expensive stadium move, the failure of project youth, the influx of cash investment by oligarchs and now the outrageous new television contracts have all changed the landscape significantly and we're no longer one of the undisputed top two teams in England.  As fans and classic sufferers of the post modern social disease known as Hero Worship, we look to the horizon for that quiet badass slowly making his way towards Seven Sisters Road, gun hidden under his poncho, ready to shoot down the gang of corporate executives with their filthy dirty Russian, Chinese and Arab blood money overrunning the premier league and restore the Arse to it's former, dignified glory.  Stand up Mesut Ozil. My feeling is we're seeing the beginnings of a new and better era at Arsenal and that Ozil goal is just the beginning. 

Not much else need be said about Tuesday night.   As for Sunday, we welcome the enemy at lunch time, or 4 am if you're within a 1000 mile radius of me. Bellerin, Nacho and Theo should be back, which is good.  Bells is the best right back in the league, Theo's value so far this season is obvious and after the absolute roasting Gibbs took on Tuesday (I fear it may be all over for him at the very top level) Nacho is a welcome return.  Santi might be out, which could be a major problem.  Wenger will have to chose between Xhaka, Elneny and Rambo to replace him, a testament to our depth in the middle but a worry because Cazorla has become so essential to the way we transition.  His insane ability in tight spaces and his nack for picking devastating passes from deep are sorely missed when he's gone and our record without him in our midfield is dismal.  

I don't see us losing this game and while they're only 3 points back my gut tells me that Tottenham will fall out of the top four this season, let's hope this game is the catalyst for an awful Trophic cascade that sees Spurs ultimately relegated from the football league and plunged into the Nando's 4a division south where their team of lobotomised beagle fuckers belongs.